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Difficult Conversations

Bad day, week or month in the office? Do you go home and rant to your partner every night or bottle it up until you literally explode? Neither option is healthy or sustainable, for you or for those having to work or live with you.

At BCL Legal all consultants have ongoing training and most recently this has focused on ‘The Chimp Paradox’, a book by Professor Steve Peters. Now I won’t do the author a disservice and try to explain the methodology behind the mind management model but put basically, it explains how we have three psychological brains called the human (based on fact, logical thinking), the chimp (ruled by emotional thinking) and the computer (storage area for thoughts). The chimp and human parts of the brain fight for control, with the chimp often being the victor until we learn how to manage and control it. It really is a fascinating read which I highly recommend as the model can be applied to all aspects of your life. Most importantly it recommends you exercise the chimp, ie. talk through the issues however irrational, to rid yourself of these negative emotional thoughts so that you can see them for what they really are.

Having been in legal recruitment for more years than I care to remember, I speak to lawyers pretty much all day every day who are frustrated in their current roles but who have never exercised their “chimp” to their manager or team leader. The majority choosing to save that pleasure for their partner at home! An honest and open conversation with your manager, however difficult/awkward it might be at the time, will hopefully resolve the issues or at least allow you to move past them. It’s best to have these conversations prior to starting your job search particularly if everything else about your job is working for you. If, after the conversation has been had, the issues remain, you will at least feel you’ve tried your best but it will enable you to reach the conclusion that enough is enough and it’s time to move on. That’s where the consultants at BCL Legal can help with their considerable market knowledge and consultative approach. We’re also more than happy to listen to your chimp!

For further information, please contact Joanne Lack, a manager based in the Birmingham office on 0121 237 5610 or joannelack@bcllegal.com

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